Prophylaxis and cure of love

 

Sexual love, so inequitably praised by the society, in reality is nothing but a serious mental disease, and has numerous negative consequences: from depression and loss of working efficiency to crime and suicide. Despite the wide spreading of this problem, attempts to cure the disease are usually made only in its worst stage. It is known, however, that the best way to avoid illness if prophylaxis.

Despite obvious physiological origins of the problem, psychological approach is extremely important in this case. This article describes several methods that are believed to be helpful to prevent, or cure, love.
 

Logical analysis method

Weigh pros and contras calmly and objectively. What can love give you? Even if everything goes successfully, the brief euphoria, which is in no way better than alcohol intoxication, will eventually fade out leaving behind controversy and conflicts. If even both you and your spouse behave honorably (and that you can never be sure of!), parting will be a very unpleasant experience nevertheless. To love means to lose. Including the loss of your freedom. Love is a voluntary, and therefore the worst, form of slavery; remember your dignity: do you really want to be a slave? Love will steal your time, nerves, energy, money; you may lose friends, job - and in exchange end up with some memories, and not always pleasant ones. Remember how many evil and crime was done because of love throughout the history; remember all the people whose insanity brought harm to themselves and to others. And this dangerous madness still appeals to you?
 

Extrapolation method

If, despite all reasons, romantic fantasies are defeating you, and you do hope that "in our case everything will be different" - try to imagine that "different case": day by day, month by month. The novelty of the relationship is gone; most topics worth discussion are depleted. The only left are daily routine and weather, which you could as well talk about with anyone. You discover more and more unpleasant features of your partner (alas, we all have some...) Imagine that close relationship, day by day with the same person, and you will feel great boredom coming over to you.
 

Proper lifestyle

Remember that idleness is the mother of all sins. If your mind is idle, it would be no wonder if your head gets full of nonsense. If you are involved in intense intellectual activity that makes you happy, if you have an interesting occupation (whether you job or hobby) - thoughts of sex would hardly conquer your attention. Do not get caught by false propaganda from people who hide their weakness by calling it "the ultimate goal of a human being": they deserve pity (or even contempt), they have flooded the world with most stupid slogans praising the insanity of love. That reminds of "philosophy" of alcoholics and drug abusers who do not wish to overcome their addiction. Keep away from that, and be proud of yourself, which is far better than imaginary "love charms"
 

Lope de Vega method - not translated yet

Pasteur method

As it is well known, Pasteur suggested that a weakened sample of bacteria be injected into the body, in order to stimulate immunity. If you are tired of suppressing persistent romantic fantasies, let them go - in your mind, of course, not in practice. Think only about that for a certain time, do not let your mind switch to anything else, rolling the same scenes of imaginary dates over and over. Read several feeble love stories (feeble they are all, though.) You may even come in contact with a person of opposite sex (whom you are sure you have no "special attitude" to.) After some time romantic fantasies will start to bore and disgust you.
 

Didactic method

When temptation is too strong, read something aimed against it, talk to a person who is against sexual love. Such simple support often proves effective. For religious people, a prayer or advice from a priest would certainly help.
 

Isolationism method

If you see that no reason can defeat your feelings towards a particular person, use the rule: "What eye does not see...". Break all contacts with that person. It is only said in the books that love survives for decades in such cases; in fact, if not stimulated on purpose, in will fade out rather soon - especially if combined with the previous methods.
 


Addendum. Adjoins to the logical analysis method, but applies only to people who share Christian opinion on marriage.

Goal-setting method (by pastor Richard Lamon)

Think: what will be the long-term consequences of this love? Either to adultery or marriage. If the first, then see above (and RU.ANTISEX FAQ), and note how can it be "love forever" if you fear permanent bonds.

The only left is marriage. An institution of unity established by God for the sake of continuation of the humankind. Inseparable, righteous....

So you need to look honestly for the possibility of such in your life. First: will you be able to live a life with the object of your love? Is your mutual understanding deep enough? If emotional rush and idolization pass, will you find a way to live together then? Do your financial, business, home priorities match? If your relationship does not allow to discuss such matters (and there is nothing inappropriate in them if marriage is considered), then it is nothing but "fun", at least for now.

Second, the material side. Can you afford a family of your own? And alone - for who knows what might happen to your spouse, and you have to be able to support a family on your own.

If all aspects of the relationship (think _thoroughly_) prove strong enough, and all material requirements are met - then it is not worth the time to be "sick of love", instead you should make an official offer.

If it is not so, you should not pretend that it is.


Send your additions to Yuri Nesterenko or Vera Kononova.

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